Periodically, I get a little hostile in public forums. I’m not talking about actual public events (but that has been known to happen too–in front of crowds). Specifically, I’m talking about online public forums, which are actually worse.

Why is it worse, you ask? Because there are far more witnesses to my bad behavior and the evidence of it remains indefinitely.

That being said, I want to make three things clear.

1.) I’m not ashamed.
Do I have the ability to delete posts or edit them after I’ve made them? Yep. Will I ever? No. (Unless it’s to correct a grammatical or spelling error. I refuse to inflict those irritating mistakes onto others.)

2.) I’m not sorry.
I knew exactly what I was saying when I said it. I thought it through before I typed and posted it. You can bet your ass that I meant it. I will not apologize because I have nothing to apologize for. I was being genuine and honest–your inability to handle that is not my problem.

3.) I only hit you because I love you.
My family is Italian. Not just Italian–Jersey Italian. My Aunt Joanne has a saying: “I only hit you because I love you.” Anyone from an Italian family understands how this “wooden spoon affection” works.

Generally, I try to stay away from rapping anyone with the wooden spoon unless absolutely necessary. I try (Read: struggle and often fail) to handle my disagreements with others diplomatically.

There are times, however, when my buttons get pushed to a point where I can’t help but get a tiny bit vicious–like a rabid dog on amphetamines.

Do you know why I get so nasty? Because I love this business. I love it so much that I spend countless hours every day doing research and writing content for this blog, writing articles for the trade magazines, developing my course content for the tradeshow lectures and workshops I teach, responding to your emails, and talking you through your professional issues in consulting sessions.

You know what I could be doing? Whatever the hell I want. Reading, playing video games, writing apocalyptic fiction (which is WAY more fun than typing up knowledge I already have for your benefit), taking on more paid consulting clients, charging subscription fees for access to my blog content, skydiving, or having high-risk, unprotected sex with many beautiful strangers simultaneously.

…okay, well, definitely not that last one or the one before that, but you get my point; I could be doing lots of other more fun and profitable things with my time.

Instead, I make the choice every day to do whatever I can to make this industry a more fun and profitable place to work. I work hard to educate salon professionals about their rights and responsibilities as employees. I commit myself to making it easy for owners to understand their obligations as employers so they’re far less likely to ever have to worry about backlash from the federal government. (Their spoon is a lot bigger and scarier than mine, by the way, and the blows they deliver cost thousands and thousands of dollars. Mine are free of charge. You’re welcome.)

I do this because I love you. If I’ve gotten nasty with you because you’ve displeased me or flipped my bitch switch, know that it’s not personal–it’s business. (I mean, unless you’re a real shithead, in which case it’s totally personal.)

Sometimes, painful public shaming is the only way to get certain people to pull their heads out of their own asses long enough to see how ridiculous they’re being.

If you felt the sting of my wooden spoon, know that it was because you deserved it. You needed it. I delivered it because I care.

Hopefully, you’re a better person for it.

(If not, you’re beyond redemption and I wish you good luck as you plummet through your downward spiral. You’ll need it.)


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